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Stephanie Foo, from What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma.
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“Breathe. You’re going to be okay. Breathe and remember that you’ve been in this place before. You’ve been this uncomfortable and anxious and scared, and you’ve survived. Breathe and know that you can survive this too. These feelings can’t break you. They’re painful and debilitating, but you can sit with them and eventually, they will pass. Maybe not immediately, but sometime soon, they are going to fade and when they do, you’ll look back at this moment and laugh for having doubted your resilience. I know it feels unbearable right now, but keep breathing, again and again. This will pass. I promise it will pass.”
— Daniell Koepke
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“Learn to give people up before they hurt you beyond repair. Even if they tell you they will change. Even if they tell you that they love you. Just remember, love isn’t meant to be permanently damaging. Love is meant to aid your healing.”
— Nikita Gill
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and I’m so sorry
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you will feel so alive again.. like so incredibly alive. i dont know when that will be but it will be. u are gonna feel so alive that ur cheeks hurt from smiling oh man oh man i promise that day is coming. you do have a future, you do have good things coming, and you’ll survive everything that’s thrown at you until you reach that day
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it is not a failure to have a difficult time taking care of yourself or advocating for youself. it is not immoral to struggle.
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when I say “everyone’s on their own timeline”, I mean it.
there’s no right age to learn something by. there’s no right age to be settled down, to move out of home, or to start your own family. there’s no right age to start working, if you work at all. there’s no right age to graduate.
life isn’t a series of boxes you need to tick. do things at your own pace. slow down if you need to. it’s okay.
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maybe you don’t love yourself yet, but you should realize you are not an exception to kindness, comfort, contentment that others receive. you deserve it too.
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Remember this: you are not lazy, you are sick. You are not useless, you are in recovery. You are not unproductive, you are trying your best to live your life while dealing with your health all the time. See the effort it takes to be you. And appreciate the things you do for yourself, be proud of you because you are still going. You are still here, still alive. Give yourself the credit you deserve for how hard you worked to be here, at this moment.
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I hope everyone here heals and grows from the things no one ever had the guts to apologise for.
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I am still ashamed of myself, afraid to let myself go, to let things pour out of me; I am dreadfully inhibited, and that is because I have not yet learned to accept myself as I am.
Etty Hillesum, from a diary entry featured in An Interrupted Life: the Diaries, 1941-1943 and Letters from Westerbork (translated from the Dutch by Arnold J. Pomerans)
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it eats me alive.
